Repro Shabbat
This Friday-Saturday is "Repro Shabbat" -- a day when Jewish communities all over the place talk about Torah, teachings,and traditions that demonstrate the Jewish commitment to abortion rights and access. More importantly, it's a day for awareness and advocacy. This initiative is organized by National Council of Jewish Women and as Roe v. Wade is under threat it is more urgent now than ever.
As a gift to you, I've created a DIY Repro Shabbat guide. Many communities are hosting events but I believe the real impetus for growth and change comes with sharing story and ceremony with our own families and communities. I've encouraged Secular Synaogogue members (hi lovely members!) to host their own in-person or virtual Shabbat dinner this Friday. This guide has all you need for hosting a secular/ culturally Jewish Shabbat dinner, with added ideas for the Repro Shabbat focus.
Part of this is advocacy, speak out and contact your government people about your deep commitment to abortion rights and access. It's also about sharing stories. Normalize abortions by talking about them! More on that in a moment.
Here's the guide:https://documentcloud.adobe.com/link/review?uri=urn:aaid:scds:US:c3ad5681-92cd-3913-a6e9-2d191b5436a4
So please - host a DIY Shabbat dinner with friends, family, neighbours etc. If you are joining another Repro Shabbat event - info here: https://www.ncjw.org/events/repro-shabbat-january-2022-ncjw/ - you're welcome to use this guide for the secular blessings and ideas for expansion.
Now I'm going to share a personal story with a content warning: this is about pregnancy loss. If you want to stop reading here you have all the info you need for a DIY Repro Shabbat above. Love to you and let's join with the Jewish community to speak up!
Ok, here's my story:
I have never had a medical abortion. I absolutely would have in the billion circumstances I've experienced when I might have needed one. At this moment in my life right now, if I were to get unexpectedly pregnant, I would choose an abortion because I feel my family is complete and I don't desire another child. I firmly believe every child should be a wanted child.
I have, however, experienced what doctors call "spontaneous abortion," better known to us all as a miscarriage. I've had two and something called a "chemical pregnancy."
I think miscarriage/pregnancy loss/spontaneous abortion have a lot to do with abortion generally -- someone is pregnant and then they aren't. Sometimes it's by choice and sometimes it's not. In both instances, sometimes there are feelings of deep sadness and sometimes relief. Sometimes it's experienced as a major life event and sometimes it isn't. Everyone is different.
For me, I was deeply saddened by my miscarriages because I did want a child and the feeling of loss was significant. The doctor I saw with my first one told me that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage and that there is good research to suggest that it's more like 1 in 3. That's a whole lot of fetuses that don't become babies.
While I was sad, when I compare the loss of those pregnancies to the loss of a child, well, there is no comparison. Of course, this isn't to minimize the pain of pregnancy loss. It's just to say that a fetus is not a baby. It's just not. When my body released the fetus' tissue (yes, traumatic to experience), it was just that -- tissue. There was no consciousness there. This was a loss but not a death. Abortion does not end a life.
Why am I telling you this? We need to share these stories and reflections. We need to talk about the complexities of life and loss that come with pregnancy and all kinds of endings to pregnancies. It's much easier for lawmakers and asshole religious leaders to pretend this is an issue that effects only some people (of course, the ones they place all kinds of gross moral judgments on). But the whole business of pregnancy, abortion, pregnancy loss, infertility, birth etc etc etc is truly everyone's business.
I haven't even touched on the whole issue of preventing women and all who can pregnant from being maimed or killed, which is obviously what happens when abortion is illegal or inaccessible. There is so much to say on this.
Which is why I think you should host a DIY Shabbat and talk to your people about all this. Let's get it all out there. And then, when the misogynists try to take away these rights (exhausting) let's raise hell.
If you want to talk to me about processing your abortion, pregnancy loss, or feelings around this issue, please reach out. My act of tzedakah (justice) for this Repro Shabbat is to engage in this work wholeheartedly and free of charge.
Love to you,
Rabbi Denise
